I aM wHat I Am...

hey, what do you know? i'm still here!

2008-11-07T10:59:00.002+08:00

hey hey hey...how long? a year? or two?since the last time i complaint about my life? hehehe... couldn't been better... hey i'm MARRIED! hee... i know... i know... guess it's a bit too young to get married at this generation...or...era? hey, you can't resist when your another half is here waiting for you rite? yup... 2years of ups and downs... as a couple. finally, we're official now. still dunno where to go for honeymoon though... this past few months close to half year really changed my routine a lot. sometimes i still feel like i'm dreaming. let's refresh... what happened... i had to make very bold decisions in my life. like i reverted and become a muslim, then i was scared as hell.... fortunately, there were supports from my boyfriend's family. after that, my parents got to know from the letter i sent to them and they were very disappointed and shocked at first. however, after awhile they were ok, and asked me to get married. :P what? married? herh...okay.. that was unpredictable. and so i had to go through all the procedures to get married. and everyone was assuming that i converted to islam because i wanted to get married. i hate that fact. oh well, can't control their mouths. and finally, i'm married now. and i have to learn to fit in this new house... i mean new home. i have to get to know not just my husband but also his parents too. oh gosh.. i hope i'm doing well.

erm...i'm still breathing. =)

2007-06-07T16:21:00.000+08:00

phewh...3months?i'm away from blogging?
man... heeheh. what was i doing?
hehehehe... here..here the boring sem break again.
gosh...staying at home 24/7 is driving me crazy!
I NEED LIFE!!!!
hahaha...
please...give me some ideas...what to do?
i've been hibernating in my house, u know what happens
when an animal is hibernating...
thick layer of fat...sleeping...breathing to keep me alive and stay warm...
eat...more...and more sleeps....zzzZZZZZ..
this sem break wasn,t a nice start though...
as soon as i reached my hometown...
i sprained my back...and i walked,lied down and sat straight up till 3days.
i thought it was going to be ok...
when i was about to cheer...hoo~
tak sampai my ray...
i got windy stomach that nite..
uhuh~hm..ok.so i guessed it was a minor matter.
so i went to sleep.the next chaos morning, i woke up...
i went straight to the toilet....ergh~ it was nasty.
i kena diarohea(is the spelling right?hm...)...
and gastric!!
herh~i couldn't take it ANYMORE!
my whole stomach was aching.
i went to the clinic..and finally...
got the injection....
FInally... relief....fuh...
but i'm ok now...hehee.
after one week...should be...
grr...when can this sem break finish?...
...
...

meeting people...

2007-03-13T22:37:00.000+08:00

hee~what do u know...it has been...very verry long for me not to update my blog...hm... guess it's more than a month rite?yeah...i think so.hm...what has been going on to me lately yeah?hmm...
for the first time celebrated valentine officially...hee.although i had like a bunch of exes. but never felt that great like this time.hm...besides, i just finish my mid term exam.didn't really work hard though.*sigh*i'm confused actually...thinking of changing field and college.eish...dunno which one to choose.psychology or interior design or graphic design?i love them all!tar college or PJ CAD?haih..one is cheap but no guarantee bout jobs,another is pricey but job is almost awaits at IKEA.which one?tell me which one?hee~oh well,today i met someone...hm.. no more to people.
hee~i met my bf's aunt and family.hee~phewh~thot i was only to meet his aunt.skali almost i can say more than 5 family members i met finally...fuyoh~anyway,it was a nice and sweet lunch.end up good.and i spoke some cantonese with his aunt,aunt Gay i guess that's the way to spell her name.til Sam pening...ahaha.n kena bully bout his mandarin but on the way back,i kena balik with my english pulak.hee~obviously...balas dendam!cheh~hm..oh well,positively, he was trying to help me improve my english.it's still a good thing.he~as a comclusion...although,still hv a lil' stress but i can say over all...m happy!whee~*cheer*

Routine...

2007-01-31T09:58:00.000+08:00

i'm here in the class...
still can update my blog...heheh
when we are given a chance to online for free...
why not to grab a chance to do something that out of the syllibus
sometimes...hee~
lately, i feel that my lifestyle is so much different compares to my last semester.
why?
hm...is it because that i moved?
is it because of i have less courses?
is it i'm i have a part time job?
is it because i have someone special to spend time with?
i guess my responsibilities this year has increases...
i have to be more matured..but somehow, i don't want to...
still want to sulk a lot...
still want to be playful...
still want to waste time by doing something that is not important..
still being recklessly...
*sigh*
hehehe...well, that's me.
although i realise all that, but i'm still doing it.hee~
ok! i'll try to change to a better person and stop being lazy!
hhahaha...and yeah!less being childish as well!
oh well...my class is going to end now...
so...i have to hands off the keyboard now...

lucky or unlucky?

2007-01-26T11:22:00.000+08:00

lately, i can say i'm still busy...til i droped...passed few days ago.
hehehe...
i mean...serious...phewh...been taking drugs for weeks...
hey...no worry.i'm not misusing it...just taking medicine continuously...
and the medicine is like part of my meals ady...til now!brr~
i'm keep on drowsy and drowsy...sleep and sleep...
no matter what i'm doing, i'm half concious...hehe
so if i'm talking "merapu"...i guess my friends will know why.hee~
although, i've been missing classes and works...and kinda lost track
with my studies...a little...tiny...a bit..onlylah...
anyway, i'm glad that someone's always there for me no matter what shape i was an i'm. i feel blissful...when i know when he cares for me that much.
whee!~ but still i bully him sometimes...hahahah
poor thing...
but not to forget...my friends and family too...
they are too...caring...
awh...*blush*
thank you...thank you...so much!
for taking care of me when i was really sick...
love u!

happy stressy

2007-01-12T12:37:00.001+08:00

hey...what's up?
hows life been going on?
me nothing else than busy(of course some people are busier than me...i know (,--))
STiLL...yes!
i need to learn how to appreciate my time more than ever...
never thought i would this hard to 'bahagikan' my time...
WORK and CLASSES... and a pinch of time for my sayang...
hurm...how?
o yeah...my results...i just got it...
hm..nothing that i would say i'm proud of...
however...it's not that bad too...
can lah...
3pointer jugak lah...
hehehe...lepas...my PTPTN,can still continue studying... :p
hm...other else?
hm...it's been 2 weeks i didn't go back to my hometown
busylah...not going back this weekend too...
ehehe...maybe it's an excuse
OR
maybe.i am really busy.
me...myself confused too. :P
neway...although i returned here for only 2weeks...
i've learnt so many things in this short time...
i mean...A LOT!
you never know....heheheh
i have few roles to play now...rather than just a student or nobody...
it's quite tension though...but it's fun!
the excitement...can hardly explain.it's happier when i would do it
successsfully...and on time...hihhi.
what am i talking about?
nah...never mind...as long as i'm still can handle my stress happily...
yay! happy stress! (^^,)

Holidays..how do i really feel?

2006-12-22T18:44:00.000+08:00

holidays sounds fun isn't it?
well...for me this sem break doesn't seems to be that wonderful.
no exciting trip to anywhere...
just sitting my butts at home and going nowhere..
gosh...what a day...
today woke up... from morning til noon...
almost three hours my eardrums stuffed with unpleasant melodies...
what was it?
my mum keep nagging me for three hours!
(gosh...didn't she feels tired or her throat getting sore?)
while i was helping her in the kitchen...
she said i'm lazy 'padahal' my hands were holding dishes to wash.
and going to do other stuffs..
anyway...mum will be mum...never escape from nagging.
phewh~ i feel better now.

p/s: sorry mum! i 'kutuk' u on my blog!hehe

2006-12-15T17:22:00.000+08:00

15th December 2006

hey..it's middle of the month...it's getting nearer to christmas and new year!so to all christians, i wish you guys a merry...merry christmas! hohoho....hm... i wish i can go back to my routine in KL as soon as possible.although it's quite tiring and busy...but at least i could past my time easily. rather than sit back at home like now and doing nothing... gosh... going nowhere and doing nothing exciting...sit at home eat more junk food... add more weight add more number to my weist and sleep... sleep and sleep. in no time, i'll become round and plumpy. hehe...hope i'm not. think of doing part time, but somehow... malas pulak...hehehe.so have u plan for your upcoming year?decided what you want in year ahead?well, for me, nothing special... keep my body healthy, get good result in studies, and doing some part times...maybe.haha...hurm...haven't plan much yet.hheeheh..well over here, it's nothing much to share..really! my routine over here just do some housework...help my parents, sms... SMS... and nothing else than sms with my boyfriend and of course my other friends too. besides, read good books,mags and watch TV.allllll the time......

2006-12-07T17:54:00.000+08:00

07th December 2006

hey...it was quite long since my last update.i went to Rompin, Pahang. for a college activity. now, i have a host family over there.it was totally fun! no rush, no traffic jams! i just had enough time to do what i wanted to do...my routine over there was CYCLING all the time!heheh... best wo...i tried to 'pukat ikan'. learned how to be a 'nelayan'. live a 'kampung' lifestyle...nice one! but now i'm in port dickson. a fishermen place too. heheh... neway i guess i have to go. will share more next time

2006-11-22T10:54:00.000+08:00

22nd November 2006

Hey!...it's me again to update this blog...
well.i'm no more single...
got a commitment now...
sorry guys!i'm occupied... :p~
hehehe....
haih...feeling a bit weird actually...
after a long time being as free as a bird...
now....cannot-lah...
must be committed!hehehe...
phewh~gosh!
when you don't have the feelings...
you may think it's stupid or waste of time...
but when you're in it...
i bet you...you'll think again!
you'll smile although nothing funny has happened...
you'll smile although you're alone and no one to smile to...
you'll smile where ever, whenever you think about your love ones...
until people think you're a wacko!
or make it simple in BM, 'angau'!
hahahha...
biasa ler... those chemistries still strong...
nothing to worry about...hehe
is this the power of LOVE?
chewah~ terlebih semangat plak. :p
well it is a nice thing to know when someone is there to care
for you...
i thank god for loving me so much...
n of course...
i love you dear!
do you?
(of course not the feeling that a mom has for a child...aight?)
how do you say I LOVE YOU in other languages?
here's some...
wo ai ni - mandarin (chinese)
ngo oi lei - cantonese (chinese)
chan rakh te - thai
aku cinta padamu - bahasa melayu(obviously!)
ai she teru - japanese
jai askadai - danish
mahal kita - tagalog
naan unnai kadhali kiren - tamil
ana behibak - arab
that's all i know, i guess,i forgot some... heish!
nevertheless, it may help you to express to your love ones
in a different language today onwards!
rather than just boring I LOVE YOU...
blurgh~
oh well... til next time.
see you guys in near future...
take care n so long...!

2006-11-15T12:28:00.000+08:00

15th november 2006

whoargh....exams has started!
oh no...i have to struggle since i didn't study earlier..
hehehhe... nothing to regret...
it's my choice niway... hhahaha...
another 7 days...
168 hours...
10080 minutes...
604800 seconds...
to struggle...
to crack my head...
and to study...
ouch...numbers...
don't like it!
i just had maths paper...
and it screwed me...
whou...dizzy...
i don't have much time to update my blog nimore throughout this week...
hurm..that's sad.
oh well... i had a nice weekend.
very nice one! =)
evrything happened so sudden and never expected it...
hehe...well, i don't expect much things...
is it good or is it bad? i'm not sure...
what is it?
i think i'll keep it to myself. secretive?
kedekut? hhehe...whatever so...i just can tell u it's a good thing.
nothing to worry about... haha...
well...i'm kinda miss my niece and my family...
it's already two weeks i didn't balik kampung...
i'm not going back this week too...
*sigh*
what to do?
exams rite?
so i have to
sTuDy...
study..............
&
STUDY!!!
maybe sneak out a bit on weekend...heheh
have to give my brain some rest too... don't u think? ;p
well, to evryone who's in the same boat with me,
good luck! all the best... do your best...
and may you be the best of all.
peace out......

2006-11-03T15:03:00.000+08:00

03rd November 2006

hey guess what... it's friday today!
it's the end of the weekdays!
whee...!
what's your plan for tomorrow?
me?
too much plans!
i wish i 've clones so i can follow all my plans!
wow! let see...
going to my friend's open house for raya in sentul.
yeah!sentul...where the rapid's commuter accident
was occured recently...
heee....hope it won't happen again!
OR
going to meet my old friend...
and have a long chat...
OR
go watch movie with my room mate...
OR
sit back at home and relax...
maybe do some laundry and cleaning...
well... it's kinda boring though...
BUT
woow... which one huh?
nontheless...
the most important thing is...
must STUDY!
at the night... hehe... gosh... must 'insaf' already...
my exam is really near... i can feel the heat already
it's burning... HOt! hot! hoT!
but still i haven't start study yet... huhu.
sad to say so..but that's the fact.
sei lor~ hehe... wish me luck!

2006-11-02T15:06:00.000+08:00

so it's 2nd of november 2006
another sunrise... means a new day.
i still be able to update my blog, which means...
i'm still alive! hooraY!!!
heheh... nothing much to say actually...
i...me...myself, hurm.. there's a thing that i'm not so sure.
that's my feeling. i can't really differentiate my feelings.
when i think i'm happy, i laugh
when i think i'm sad, i laugh...
when i think i'm mad, i laugh...
when i think i'm heartbroken, i still laugh...
should i have an appoinment with a psychiatrist?
i'm confused...but i still able to laugh...
hahahaha....
maybe i have gone zany, cause of too much things i have to feel.
hehehe... am i a psycho?
hurm... however i'm a girl...
as the guys said, even they live on this earth for a century,
they still can't get to understand the women...
it's way too complicated!
so am i... even i don't understand myself sometimes.
hehehehe..... :P

2006-11-01T12:09:00.000+08:00

as i look out the street...
all i can see is people here and there.
then i breathe...
as the breeze swept through my hair..

people with different shapes...
to have different characters
people with different faces...
to have different shelters

we are so unique...
that's what i realised...
that's what i think...
and i'm pleased.

however, most people,
they just like to have problems
that can't be settled,
and can never leave them.

because they can never satisfy,
the ego gets too high,
and they keep on try and try,
try to keep their pride.

people,please think again,
don't live your life at stake,
to gain as much as you can,
but to learn how to give and take.

1253_011106_Jolene

2006-11-01T11:20:00.000+08:00

today is 1st of november 2006,
a new breathe... a new experience...
maybe a new life too...
i enjoyed my day yesterday...
i had a very nice chat with my friend...
we shared a lot of things...
hehe...but at the night i was quite out of luck...
i had to wait more than half an hour for the bus...
just to have dinner...
while i was waiting many guys bugged me and my friend.
guess what?even the person i can call uncle disturbed me. ewh!
however,lucky me, nothing bad happened...phewh!
then i have to wait another half an hour...
just to wait for my dinner to be done...
after dinner... AGAIN, had to wait for the bus
to get back to my hostel...
"oh no! it's drizzling already! where's the stupid bus?" i mumbled.
had to wait for more than half an hour before i got in the bus
gosh...it took me more than two hours for all that.
in fact,the distance to the food stall is just around a kilometre away from my hostel.
to think back,i could have enjoying seafood in port dickson instead.
what a dinner... many scary things happened because just to have it though.
well...it might not scary for anyone,but for me YES!
oh yes! plus, i've to cross many roads! SCAARY~

2006-10-30T17:34:00.000+08:00

So this is my first blog on this page.today is 30th of October 2006.
It is the first day back on my routine,after quite a long break.
I really enjoyed my holidays though...
i took enough rest and put on weight!
heheh...because i did nothing much.
Eat...watch tv,EAT...sleep...woke up...Eat(again)...
and all day long... what did i do when i got boring?
EAT!!!
hahah...i know it's not very healthy.but...hurm...no comment!
:p~
i took the oppurtunity to go to my favourite place...
you guess... not sure?
okay... it's the BEACH!!
it was a long time ago since the last time i dip my toe into the sea water.
so i did it again last hol!
gosh...i miss it so much.
the breeze...
those waves...
those waves crashing sounds...
the sunlight...
how pleasant....
i kicked the sea sand and sea water...
i aftered those tiny crabs...
i tried to catch fish...(but i failed...heheh)
i laughed as how i wanted...
i screamed my lungs out...
i play with the water like a child...
while i was enjoying the moment...
i felt weird...
"why do my friends slowly walked away from me?"
want to know why?
hurm...they said i acted as if i have gone crazy.
???
really? argh... who cares?
but did i?hehehe
maybe... a bit of too excited.
you know what?
just one thing i got regret about...
that is, i got dark!
never thought of it when i was enjoying the sunlight...
well, who will think about the cause when they are having fun right?
hehe....after all, my last holidays rocks!
i get to do the things that i couldn't when i'm stick to my routine> =)